Yesterday was the removal of the 2nd stent from my effed up gallbladder removal procedure. This was the all important one in the bile duct that the dr was leaving in for extra time to ensure it was completely healed. Its also the spot which the dr said tore like tissue paper when he touched it (kinda nerve-wracking knowing he's gonna go back in to mess w/ it again). It didn't make me feel a 100% better when he came in pre sx to say that when they go in.. if its NOT healed, they'll put a new one in (just want I want)
According to what we were told, we needed to schedule atleast 4 hrs for the entire hospital time - from arrival to departure, so I arrived at 7am and I was expecting to leave around possibly 11am to 12pm (all the red tape and paperwork and stuff). I was HOME at 9:30 am. Considering the fact they never actually took me back to the OR until around 8am, I'm not sure why it went so quickly, but I'm glad it did and that it went well, however he did take a biopsy of my stomach since it was all red and stuff - just to make sure its not a bleeding ulcer of something...honestly, I think its cuz I kinda forgot some of the rules and ate spicy stuff the night before (tho I didn't really think it was that spicy)...they'll let me know in a few wks what they think of it. I'm just glad this entire fiasco is over... frankly, from the moment I lay in bed with my abdomen burning feeling nauseated with the one of two sick-inducing pains, this has been a roller-coaster of ups & down of what the facility managed to save in its database from the last time, or what needs re-written. I get auto calls about appts I never set (well, maybe did set as the drugs were taking me under..vaguely recall lady sitting at comp, not what she was talking about) or waking up (again, recall many ladies w/ clipboards and at comp, don't remember what they said each time). The drs, tho.. are great...
I hate when a good dr is backed by a facility having so many problems... the probs maybe caused by any # of factors, but still...the good drs could be exceptional when paired with the right staff and right facility
sorry---old gripe--the boss, dr, etc can be better when backed by the right staff/facility/equipment had a hell of a time getting some of my previous employment places to even listen to that idea
Friday, July 26, 2013
Monday, July 15, 2013
More and more tests
Just got back from the latest appointment with my neurologist - as if I didn't have enough to worry about, he's brought up the question of whether or not the mental blanks like the one I had at the grocery store last month could be cuz of mini seizures
oh joy
just what I needed to think about
He doesn't think so, but it is a possibility. Plus, I take too long to respond to simple yes/no questions that actually shouldn't take processing like I require.
So, I have an EEG scheduled for the end of the month.
Dr. says not to worry; that its probably related to MS cognition problems (of which I've already shown some signs) and that the EEG will probably be normal. Unfortunately, I am a chronic worrier (hence the anti-anxiety meds originally being added to help w/ sleep). Plus, the unfortunate ability I have of being the 0.00nth% minority that has the reaction/allergy/side effect/etc that the fine print warns about. I've stopped being amused and now its turned to frustration when I hear a dr say "huh, that's new"
Depending on the results of the EEG, I may need to change some of my meds (again) or go for the day long cognitive testing... the dr says its actually kinda disappointing, cuz no-one (even someone without MS or other neuro probs) scores well on it.
This has been a day of not quite bad news, but definitely no good news
oh joy
just what I needed to think about
He doesn't think so, but it is a possibility. Plus, I take too long to respond to simple yes/no questions that actually shouldn't take processing like I require.
So, I have an EEG scheduled for the end of the month.
Dr. says not to worry; that its probably related to MS cognition problems (of which I've already shown some signs) and that the EEG will probably be normal. Unfortunately, I am a chronic worrier (hence the anti-anxiety meds originally being added to help w/ sleep). Plus, the unfortunate ability I have of being the 0.00nth% minority that has the reaction/allergy/side effect/etc that the fine print warns about. I've stopped being amused and now its turned to frustration when I hear a dr say "huh, that's new"
Depending on the results of the EEG, I may need to change some of my meds (again) or go for the day long cognitive testing... the dr says its actually kinda disappointing, cuz no-one (even someone without MS or other neuro probs) scores well on it.
This has been a day of not quite bad news, but definitely no good news
Sunday, July 7, 2013
meow
"First rule of Cat Fight Club
never speak about Cat Fight Club....
second rule about Cat Fight Club
never speak about Cat Fight Club....especially to humans" XD
Almost every night, after Matt, the dog, and I go into the master bedroom for the night, Xan and Midnight go crazy attacking each other. I know this because I've stayed up a few nights and that actually hasn't deterred them much.. I can only guess how much worse it gets when I'm NOT present, especially since when I woke up this morning, there was an *excessive* amount of white fur clumps scattered around the living rm. Xan sheds, but usually a few wispy bits at a time (just kinda constantly). These were *clumps*..like Midnight bit down on some back or side fur and yanked out or clawed out.
I know it was Xan's cuz A) she's a mostly white calico with baby-fine hair that falls out anyway if hit by the slightest breeze and 2) she's a wuz..she's about 2/3 the size of Midnight and runs from the slightest challenge.. love her and wouldn't trade her for the world... but I do wish she's grow a backbone...especially after almost 7 yrs dealing with Matt. she acts like has abused her (hasn't), & is out to get her (isn't) and the dog who is fine letting her walk around usually until she tenses up..then the dog needs to chase her cuz the dog know the cat will run. running object = the need to chase the running object for almost any canine i've seen.
I wish there was a third rule of Cat Fight Club
never leave evidence of the Cat Fight behind
Then I wouldn't have to spend the morning vacuuming up all the bits to fur they pull off of each other
never speak about Cat Fight Club....
second rule about Cat Fight Club
never speak about Cat Fight Club....especially to humans" XD
Almost every night, after Matt, the dog, and I go into the master bedroom for the night, Xan and Midnight go crazy attacking each other. I know this because I've stayed up a few nights and that actually hasn't deterred them much.. I can only guess how much worse it gets when I'm NOT present, especially since when I woke up this morning, there was an *excessive* amount of white fur clumps scattered around the living rm. Xan sheds, but usually a few wispy bits at a time (just kinda constantly). These were *clumps*..like Midnight bit down on some back or side fur and yanked out or clawed out.
I know it was Xan's cuz A) she's a mostly white calico with baby-fine hair that falls out anyway if hit by the slightest breeze and 2) she's a wuz..she's about 2/3 the size of Midnight and runs from the slightest challenge.. love her and wouldn't trade her for the world... but I do wish she's grow a backbone...especially after almost 7 yrs dealing with Matt. she acts like has abused her (hasn't), & is out to get her (isn't) and the dog who is fine letting her walk around usually until she tenses up..then the dog needs to chase her cuz the dog know the cat will run. running object = the need to chase the running object for almost any canine i've seen.
I wish there was a third rule of Cat Fight Club
never leave evidence of the Cat Fight behind
Then I wouldn't have to spend the morning vacuuming up all the bits to fur they pull off of each other
Thursday, June 27, 2013
big *empty* space
That's the area that's suppose to contain a brain...
It went missing sometime today around 4pm when I was physically and mentally unable to fold the 2nd half of my load of laundry...
sounds funny..I know...but its not..I was quite distraught... technically I know my pinkies should 'flip' the sleeves in while it's being folded lengthwise so the sleeves are inside the fold...its how we've folded shirts for the past decade and how I had folded the previous half of the load and between one shirt and the next, my brain and my hands just...forgot. There's a big difference between technically knowing it & being able to do it...I was left holding the shirt just staring at it near tears cuz I couldn't get my pinkies to even fold the shirt, much less 'flip it' (don't ask the difference.. there just is one..)
it was about as bad as standing in the grocery store staring at the taco seasonings, not quite sure where I was. Grocery store would have been all I could tell you for sure..I'm not sure if the right town, or even state would have come out...heck... I don't even think the right grocery store, since they don't have the store we use to shop at down here.
ok..its too late and I'm done rehashing how stupid I feel when my brain stops working =P
It went missing sometime today around 4pm when I was physically and mentally unable to fold the 2nd half of my load of laundry...
sounds funny..I know...but its not..I was quite distraught... technically I know my pinkies should 'flip' the sleeves in while it's being folded lengthwise so the sleeves are inside the fold...its how we've folded shirts for the past decade and how I had folded the previous half of the load and between one shirt and the next, my brain and my hands just...forgot. There's a big difference between technically knowing it & being able to do it...I was left holding the shirt just staring at it near tears cuz I couldn't get my pinkies to even fold the shirt, much less 'flip it' (don't ask the difference.. there just is one..)
it was about as bad as standing in the grocery store staring at the taco seasonings, not quite sure where I was. Grocery store would have been all I could tell you for sure..I'm not sure if the right town, or even state would have come out...heck... I don't even think the right grocery store, since they don't have the store we use to shop at down here.
ok..its too late and I'm done rehashing how stupid I feel when my brain stops working =P
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
phobic phobias
The closer my dr appt for the SSDI determination gets, the more jittery I become..at this point, I'm not sure if its cuz I'm worried about being denied or because the dr the appointment is with is a psychologist...
I don't do so well with shrinks of any type
in fact...
they terrify terrify the hell out of me
They can ferret out meanings you never meant to apply to a term and twist it to look a certain way to weak minded individuals (I know) and unlike other doctors any wounds are invisible.
Matt tells me to get over it..he says he understands, but since it was so long ago, when I was a teen, and that the dr was obviously a new grad or a touch crazy herself. However..being told you should never have been born or that your parents should never have adopted you kinda tends to leave a scar (esp. when its reinforced by fam. over & over just how lucky I am that they decided to do so).
Of all the things I forget...why can't I forget these memories?!
I don't do so well with shrinks of any type
in fact...
they terrify terrify the hell out of me
They can ferret out meanings you never meant to apply to a term and twist it to look a certain way to weak minded individuals (I know) and unlike other doctors any wounds are invisible.
Matt tells me to get over it..he says he understands, but since it was so long ago, when I was a teen, and that the dr was obviously a new grad or a touch crazy herself. However..being told you should never have been born or that your parents should never have adopted you kinda tends to leave a scar (esp. when its reinforced by fam. over & over just how lucky I am that they decided to do so).
Of all the things I forget...why can't I forget these memories?!
Friday, June 21, 2013
Damn shitty night terror last night (this morning?) sometime..the kinda that has me trying to scream my way out of it and scream for help from the terrors...an old relationship hellbent on getting..'reacquainted'..and not in a friendly manner. I was trying to scream for help but couldn't get the breath or push him off of me and I was flailing and everything. In the dream I couldn't even blame the MS, I was back in my old rm way before I was diagnosed and started having probs with strength --I was an active athlete softball, volleyball, basketball --
I pulled out of it long enough to fall into yet ANOTHER shitty dream. Now, I'm trying to tell Matt about it and he's belittling and/or contradicting everything I say about the night terror (including the size of my original bed that I used as a teen...) felt like I was talking in circles until I wasn't sure if I was coming or going with the way he kept giving me different information when I would tell him one thing...beyond frustrating and twitch inducing, especially when the rest of the dream made no sense (from the little of this one I can remember)
I can't stand dreams I don't understand... I haven't thought of that damn jerk in well over a decade..then my stupid brain hurls images like this at me...
my head hates me
I pulled out of it long enough to fall into yet ANOTHER shitty dream. Now, I'm trying to tell Matt about it and he's belittling and/or contradicting everything I say about the night terror (including the size of my original bed that I used as a teen...) felt like I was talking in circles until I wasn't sure if I was coming or going with the way he kept giving me different information when I would tell him one thing...beyond frustrating and twitch inducing, especially when the rest of the dream made no sense (from the little of this one I can remember)
I can't stand dreams I don't understand... I haven't thought of that damn jerk in well over a decade..then my stupid brain hurls images like this at me...
my head hates me
Thursday, June 20, 2013
tick tock
I can't believe I'm still slowly unpacking.. although it really shouldn't be that much of a surprise. We spent 10 yrs or so (I think..I believe that was the last amount I was told..don't remember) in Columbus and still had some stuff that never saw the light of day. Very little of that came with us, mostly just my baskets cuz those were expensive and it was cuz there was A) no room (not like there's more here) and B) I'm not a good decorator.. but hubby is gonna help here, especially since we left some of he clutter (emphasis on some) back in Columbus and he's gonna help me figure out uses instead of just putting them on shelves to look pretty.
Anyway.. back to the real purpose.. came across the small box containing the remains of the 3 day old abandoned kitten I tried to save. Unfortunately, he (although it was too young to tell, I think it was a male ^_^) was just too young and had been left out on its own for too long before it was found by someone. It was from when I was working at a vet clinic. The vet heard a slight wheeze and I still took him home and tried to feed it, keep it warm overnight..I had it for two days, but on the second morn...the wheezing was audible and he wasn't really moving much. Shortley after, the baby kitten passed - most likely from being exposed to fairly chilly weather when it was first born. The doc was pretty sure it was a newborn that first day when he was left out. His eyes hadn't even begun to open yet.
One of the nearby funeral parlors provided pet cremations. What I didn't know is that they also save a small chunk of hair and take a paw print.. I received the little wooden box and a small framed paw print smaller that my thumb tip and an envelop w/ a small shaving of his marmalade hair..what struck me the most was the date...
2006
Seven yrs ago??? I still remember holding him in my hands..I still remember having the box with the red heating lamp beside my bed...I remember the utter devastation of losing that baby kitten....
but I also remember losing my Lassie when I was 16 as if was just yesterday...including attempting to dig into completely frozen ground in Feb while it was sleeting...I don't place myself at the age of 16. I don't place my friend who helped me at 18..
I don't do very well with time that's gone past (whether minutes, days, years)
This turned into more of a macabre post than I meant it it be...sry
Anyway.. back to the real purpose.. came across the small box containing the remains of the 3 day old abandoned kitten I tried to save. Unfortunately, he (although it was too young to tell, I think it was a male ^_^) was just too young and had been left out on its own for too long before it was found by someone. It was from when I was working at a vet clinic. The vet heard a slight wheeze and I still took him home and tried to feed it, keep it warm overnight..I had it for two days, but on the second morn...the wheezing was audible and he wasn't really moving much. Shortley after, the baby kitten passed - most likely from being exposed to fairly chilly weather when it was first born. The doc was pretty sure it was a newborn that first day when he was left out. His eyes hadn't even begun to open yet.
One of the nearby funeral parlors provided pet cremations. What I didn't know is that they also save a small chunk of hair and take a paw print.. I received the little wooden box and a small framed paw print smaller that my thumb tip and an envelop w/ a small shaving of his marmalade hair..what struck me the most was the date...
2006
Seven yrs ago??? I still remember holding him in my hands..I still remember having the box with the red heating lamp beside my bed...I remember the utter devastation of losing that baby kitten....
but I also remember losing my Lassie when I was 16 as if was just yesterday...including attempting to dig into completely frozen ground in Feb while it was sleeting...I don't place myself at the age of 16. I don't place my friend who helped me at 18..
I don't do very well with time that's gone past (whether minutes, days, years)
This turned into more of a macabre post than I meant it it be...sry
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